Sexual jokes, is it a form of sexual harassment?

28 January 2015 - Shanghai

There was a traffic jam and we were in a taxi.

Mr R showed me a whatsapp message, it's a joke sent by his friend.

Mr R, “Can you read it?” (All texts were in Malay)

Me, “Only very simple words like “dan means and” and “untuk means for”... So? What does this say?"

Mr R, “So this is saying, if you have sex once a week, you will have good physical health.” (Laughs)
Me, “Haha ok…” (Laughs)

Mr R, “If you have sex twice a week, you’ll have good mental health. 3 times a weeks, a good heart. 4 times… 5 times… 6 times… 7 times a week, it will boost your work performance. (Laughs) Malaysians like to share this kind of messages ah”

Like any mild sexual jokes you would see on fb, I expressed amusement, "Ha… you should tell your wife about this”.

Mr R, “Yeah I did. Here's another joke.”

Me, “Ok”

Now this was getting disturbing. Avideo about someone who drew a nude man and woman on his left hand, and by moving his pinky it looked like the man and woman are having sex. Too much details, too explicit. The man drew another 3-4 times more, showing the various positions. Oral sex, doggy style, whatever, you name it.

I was feeling disturbed. You don’t show these to someone you just got to know a week. I acknowledged with a grimace in response. 

And another ‘joke’, if you have sex in the dark will boost something, your heart or your brains or kidneys, than with lights on.

Yet another video of some guy playing with fireworks. Fireworks flew in the wrong direction and hit his naked butt. Only his backside was seen.

How would you have responded? 

I had a lot of thoughts. 

I was stunned.
It was not funny.

I stopped responding.

He stopped after 4 such jokes.

I can take sexual jokes and laugh them off, as any mild sexual jokes on fb.

But at what point does it become offensive?

Maybe I should have been firm and denounce his behavior.

Maybe I was too serious.

I did nothing.

On the next day, Mr R made an approach again, this time in class. A video about a China man who just got married, having sex needing to be supervised by his parents, it was non-censored. He laughed it off again.

All these while these goddamned jokes were only directed towards me. Not to the Malaysian guy he came with, or the other Chinese guys. I smiled lightly and shrugged, and continued with my work. 

But I was totally turned off.

  

Unfortunately there was no proof where I could document it. It wasn't intimidating, and I wasn't forced into any kind of submission.

It was just... very disturbing.