PhD thesis: How to mess shit up. #1- Set probe temp to 0

Is common sense not so common after all? The amount of stupidity I get from people triggers me. I can’t fathom how someone with no common sense can be given a PhD!!

I used to be very much in awe by people with PhD, at least the lab where I came from - there were President scholar, Harvard graduate, ASEAN scholar... you name it. Sometimes it demotivates me, because I will never reach that level. On the good side, their thought processes inspire me. To think further, think deeper. How to carry myself. Be more composed.

So my encounter with this guy amuses me. Let’s call him Dr Eugene. A Dr title because he has a real PhD ok!

So yesterday... 

Dr Eugene: Sorry uh Phyliss. Could you come in to have a look (at the mass spec instrument).

Me: Ok...

Dr Eugene: I saw that the Ar gas was empty (regulator points to 0psi), so I turned it up. Now it says ‘collision cell overpressure’. The software shows the collision cell pressure e-2, but I have recorded down previous readings, it should be e-3.

Me: Ok... so you turned up the Ar gas. It reads 30 psi now, what should the value be?

Dr Eugene: Uh.. I don’t know

Me: Ok.. That’s ok. We can find out from the installation guide. I’ll check on that.

Reading installation guide... it says.. Argon gas should be regulated at 7.25psi, dang! 🤦🏻‍♀️ That’s why the original reading was correct! Don’t create someone out of nothing!

The scale of the regulator was rather wide, maybe 0-200 psi. That’s why 7psi would look like there is no gas! Why would you even turn it up when you don’t check the guides how much to do it! 

Based on feeling huh, apparently,

So I closed the valve, but it doesn’t release the Ar gas. 

So I suggested: Why don’t you set some MRM injections to exhaust the Argon gas, while we keep the valve close. Or running infusion and do some fragmentation.

Dr Eugene: But we can’t even change the tune page settings! Look, in standby mode the voltages are switched off and at 0!

He then demonstrated, probe temperature was set at 300 deg C. If he changed the the probe temperature setting to 0, the software would not respond and jumps back to 300! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Do you really think the probe is capable of achieving 0 deg!!! Have you ever seen the probe freezes up!! (It’s like buying a kitchen oven, with futile attempt to set it to 0 deg.)

Me (Breathes): Why don’t you set a higher temperature like 50 or 100.

Dr Eugene presses 50 and hit enter. It worked...

Now, run your injections and exhaust the Argon gas. 

He went on to explain how he doesn’t want to do it over the weekend because he doesn’t want anything to go wrong, and nobody would be around.

I don’t care when you do it. 

So there was nothing wrong with the instrument! The instrument is innocent! Stop blaming the instrument! 

Even better, stop touching it!

I am not even a full mass spec engineer. I may have attended an Engineers training 2 years ago, sadly never had the chance to work on it. I am unfamiliar with HRMS. But it doesn’t take a mass spec engineer to recognise the problem. You just need common sense.

Highlight of the day.